200+ Christmas Captions For Instagram (And Quotes)

Funny Christmas Captions:

1. “Dear Santa, I can explain…”
2. “Resting Grinch face in full effect.”
3. “Jingle all the way… to the fridge.”
4. “Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.”
5. “But first, let me take an elfie.”
6. “Santa’s favorite ho-ho-homebody.”
7. “Fa la la la la, la la la laid back.”
8. “More cookies, less problems.”
9. “Gangsta wrapper right here.”
10. “Chillin’ with my snowmies.”
11. “Ho ho ho? More like ha ha ha!”
12. “Keep calm and get your ho ho ho on.”
13. “Have yourself a merry little cocktail.”
14. “I’m only a morning person on Christmas.”
15. “Dear Santa, define ‘nice’.”
16. “Feeling frosty, might build a snowman later.”
17. “On the naughty list and loving it.”
18. “Single and ready to jingle.”
19. “All the jingle ladies.”
20. “When you stop believing in Santa, you get socks.”
21. “Eat, drink, and be merry (and maybe a little tipsy).”
22. “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.”
23. “Tinsel hair, don’t care.”
24. “Santa saw your Instagram pictures. You’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.”
25. “Feast mode: ON.”
26. “I’m egg-cited for eggnog!”
27. “Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse…because they all passed out from the eggnog.”
28. “Christmas calories don’t count.”
29. “It’s all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list.”
30. “My resting Grinch face is on point today.”
31. “Santa baby, slip a Starbucks under the tree, for me.”
32. “Up to snow good.”
33. “Sleigh-in it!”
34. “Yule be sorry.”
35. “I sleigh all day.”
36. “Santa’s workshop? More like Santa’s sweatshop.”
37. “Gonna go lay under the tree to remind my family that I’m a gift.”
38. “Silent night… Yeah, right!”
39. “Sleigh my name, sleigh my name, when no one is around you, say baby I love you.”
40. “Oh deer, Christmas is here!”
41. “Christmas cheer? I thought you said Christmas beer!”
42. “Naughty is the new nice.”
43. “Just so we’re clear, the Grinch never hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair.”
44. “Dear Santa, I was framed.”
45. “Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way to my couch.”
46. “The tree isn’t the only thing getting lit this year.”
47. “Christmas magic is in the air…or is that just cookies baking?”
48. “I’m the reason Santa has a naughty list.”
49. “My Christmas spirit animal is a Christmas cookie.”

 Jolly Santa Jokes:

1. “Why does Santa go down the chimney?”
2. “What do you call Santa when he takes a break? Santa Pause.”
3. “What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!”
4. “How do elves get to the top floor of Santa’s workshop? They use the elf-avator!”
5. “What’s Santa’s favorite type of music? Wrap!”
6. “Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? Because he had low ‘elf’ esteem.”
7. “What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!”
8. “What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time? Sandy Claws!”
9. “How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!”
10. “What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues!”
11. “Why is Santa so good at karate? Because he has a black belt!”
12. “What’s Santa’s favorite subject in school? Chemis-tree!”
13. “What do you get if you deep-fry Santa? Crisp Kringle!”
14. “Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ‘ho ho ho’!”
15. “What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic!”
16. “How does Santa keep his suits wrinkle-free? He hangs them in the Claus-et.”
17. “What’s Santa’s favorite snack? Ho-ho-hos!”
18. “What’s Santa’s favorite sport? North Pole vaulting!”
19. “Why does Santa like to work in his garden? Because he loves to hoe, hoe, hoe!”
20. “How do you scare a snowman? You get a hairdryer!”
21. “What do Santa’s elves learn in school? The elf-abet!”
22. “What did Santa say to the smoker? Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!”
23. “What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus!”
24. “Why does Santa go to music school? So he can improve his wrapping skills!”
25. “Why was Santa’s little helper so sad? He had low ‘elf’ esteem.”
26. “What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!”
27. “Why did Santa bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!”
28. “What do you call an old snowman? Water!”
29. “Why does Santa go to therapy? To help his sack-tension.”
30. “What’s Santa’s favorite type of potato chip? Crisp Pringles!”
31. “Why did Santa cross the road? To get to the other chimney!”
32. “Why doesn’t Santa use GPS? He follows the North Star!”
33. “What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker!”
34. “How does Santa stay healthy? By eating a well-balanced diet of milk and cookies!”
35. “Why did Santa get a parking ticket? He parked in a snow parking zone!”
36. “What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish!”
37. “Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim!”
38. “What does Santa say at the start of a race? Ready, set, ho ho ho!”
39. “What’s Santa’s favorite candy? Jolly Ranchers!”
40. “Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh? He wanted to sleigh time!”
41. “What do you get when you cross Santa with a dog? Santa Paws!”
42. “Why did Santa go to school? To improve his elf-education!”
43. “What’s Santa’s favorite holiday drink? Egg-noggin!”
44. “Why did Santa go to the music store? To get a set of bells, he heard they’re quite jingling!”
45. “What do elves use to make Christmas cakes? Elf-raising flour!”
46. “What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues!”
47. “Why does Santa carry an umbrella? In case of rain, dear!”
48. “How does Santa keep his cool? He has a lot of fans!”
49. “Why doesn’t Santa ever get sick? He has plenty of Vitamin C-lause!”
50. “What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate Clauses!”

Hilarious Christmas Puns:

1. “Yule be sorry if you miss out on this holiday fun!”
2. “Resting Grinch face activated.”
3. “Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.”
4. “I’m dreaming of a wine Christmas.”
5. “Fleece Navidad!”
6. “Let’s get lit like a Christmas tree.”
7. “Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle.”
8. “There’s snow place like home for the holidays.”
9. “It’s the most wonderful time for a beer.”
10. “We’re a mistle-toast to the holidays!”
11. “Keep calm and merry on.”
12. “Yule tide and good vibes.”
13. “Eat, drink, and be merry (and bright).”
14. “Let’s take an elfie!”
15. “Santa’s little helpers are the jolliest elves in town.”
16. “Up to snow good.”
17. “I’m feeling pine.”
18. “Wrap battle: me vs. the presents.”
19. “Believe in your elf.”
20. “Shake your merry maker.”
21. “Sleigh the holiday season.”
22. “I’ll be gnome for Christmas.”
23. “Jingle bells, jingle beers, jingle all the way.”
24. “Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.”
25. “Just chillin’ with my snowmies.”
26. “It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.”
27. “Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal!”
28. “Have an ice day!”
29. “The tree isn’t the only thing getting lit this year.”
30. “Get your jingle on.”
31. “I’m on the nice list. (Trust me.)”
32. “Oh deer, Christmas is here!”
33. “Fa-la-la-la-llama.”
34. “Sleigh all day, then cabernet.”
35. “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire… just kidding, we’re ordering pizza.”
36. “Deck the halls and not your family.”
37. “The snuggle is real.”
38. “Don’t be a cotton-headed ninny muggins.”
39. “Have a cup of cheer, or two.”
40. “Son of a nutcracker!”
41. “Christmas cheer? I thought you said Christmas beer!”
42. “Ice to meet you.”
43. “Yule be having a merry little Christmas now.”
44. “I’m snow excited for Christmas!”
45. “Have yourself a merry little cocktail.”
46. “Christmas tree-ting ourselves right.”
47. “It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.”
48. “Rebel without a Claus.”
49. “Sleighin’ it this holiday season.”
50. “Resting Grinch face all season long.”

Aesthetic Instagram Captions for Christmas:

1. “Snowflakes and sparkles”
2. “Winter wonderland vibes”
3. “Cozy nights and Christmas lights”
4. “Frosted windows and festive feels”
5. “Snowy mornings and hot cocoa”
6. “Presents and pinecones”
7. “Gingerbread and garlands”
8. “Sparkling snowflakes and sweet treats”
9. “Festive fragrances and frosty air”
10. “Christmas magic and mistletoe”
11. “Snowy landscapes and seasonal cheer”
12. “Candles and carols”
13. “Frosted fir trees and festive fun”
14. “Snowflakes and smiles”
15. “Winter wonder and warmth”
16. “Christmas cookies and cozy nights”
17. “Garlands and gingerbread men”
18. “Sparkling snow and seasonal joy”
19. “Festive feelings and frosted windows”
20. “Snowy days and sweet treats”
21. “Christmas magic and mistletoe kisses”
22. “Winter wonderland and warm wishes”
23. “Frosted fir trees and festive cheer”
24. “Snowflakes and sparkling lights”
25. “Gingerbread and garlands of love”
26. “Festive fragrances and frosty mornings”
27. “Christmas cookies and cozy moments”
28. “Snowy landscapes and seasonal delight”
29. “Candles and carols of joy”
30. “Frosted windows and festive fun”
31. “Snowflakes and sparkling snow”
32. “Gingerbread and garlands of cheer”
33. “Festive feelings and frosted air”
34. “Christmas magic and mistletoe moments”
35. “Winter wonderland and warm hugs”
36. “Frosted fir trees and festive love”
37. “Snowflakes and sparkling lights”
38. “Gingerbread and garlands of joy”
39. “Festive fragrances and frosty nights”
40. “Christmas cookies and cozy nights”
41. “Snowy landscapes and seasonal wonder”
42. “Candles and carols of cheer”
43. “Frosted windows and festive delight”
44. “Snowflakes and sparkling snowflakes”
45. “Gingerbread and garlands of love”
46. “Festive feelings and frosted mornings”
47. “Christmas magic and mistletoe kisses”
48. “Winter wonderland and warm wishes”
49. “Frosted fir trees and festive cheer”
50. “Snowflakes and sparkling lights of joy”